THiS fEELiNg iS KiLLinG mE sLoWlY...

Dear gossipers,

This feeling is killing me... the memories are killing me... the memories of me and her slowly emerge... It flashed many times on my mind... I feel scared... Scared to death to know that I might love her once again...

Yesterday, I saw her at lunch... She asked me to join her but I say no even though deep in my heart I know I want to say yes... but I guess sometimes no is millions times better than yes... I walked away and at night I've done something that I shouldn't do... I texted her again... It started with a simple how do you do?... Then the conversation went on and on... I only realize that I shouldn't done that... Why cant I stopped to love her?... Why I can't accept the reality that she is not for me?...

Maybe I should stop looking at her picture...
Maybe I should change my phones wallpaper...
Yup... Cause everytime I looked at her picture I always wonder...
Am I still in love with her?...
But I'm just a human... I'm not that strong to avoid her...
Why?... What happened to me?... What should I do?...
No... I don't scared to drown in the deepest ocean of love again...
But I absolutely don't want to fall from the highest mountain of hurt...
And killing my heart with the sharpest knife of rejection...
Help me... I'm loss in this desert of thought...

xoxo

luv,
Vogue